Dec 28 2011

A thin swashbuckler

The infamous pirate Nobeard, shown here leaping from a ship into a cargo net, feared nothing … except for:

Dec 21 2011

The Bandage Man

This doodle, found on a worksheet listing sample statements analyzing ABC’s World News Tonight, looks like another movie poster to me. Here are my pitches:

  • The Bandage Man. Ex-cop James Spano, a thumb with a checkered past, is brought in to help find “The Papercraft Killer.” The twist: Spano’s partner on the case is Detective Ogg, a hard-living Neanderthal who slept with Spano’s wife. (Ogg is either a clone from some DNA found in a bone or a guy thawed out of a glacier.) In the end, Spano gets shot in the knuckle, hence the bandage, but he goes on to save Ogg’s life or something. Continue reading …

Dec 14 2011

Big-beaked basketball star

Let me introduce you to Irvin Ferguson—the least notable high-school basketball player ever.

He practiced hard. He played hard. He had long limbs. But he was bad, and he grew up during a time when society demanded that men wear embarrassingly short shorts, so he looked foolish.

By the way: Basketball is a terrible, terrible sport. Continue reading …