Mar 26 2014

The laundry hamper, scourge of giraffes everywhere

(Click for full image.)

(Click for full image.)

It looks to me like Barry,¬†the ungulate featured in this doodle, has managed to get a cylindrical container stuck on his face. He probably saw some tasty leaves in a laundry hamper and couldn’t help himself. Before you shake your head in arrogance, consider this statistic: 73 percent of nearly all giraffes will get their heads stuck in laundry baskets at some point in their lives.

Though this problem existed before humans, humans certainly shoulder some blame. The number of hampers in the wild has skyrocketed since the birth of the industrial age. Luckily, you can help: The next time your laundry hamper fills up, don’t throw it away. Instead, empty it out. Laundry hampers usually can be reused two, three, or even four times.

Don’t forget! The giraffes are counting on you.

Mar 19 2014

Rejected Muppets

(Click for full image.)

(Click for full image.)

I spent countless minutes drawing the characters in this doodle. They once represented my best chance at becoming a professional Muppet creator, a competitive yet lucrative profession. But instead of rocketing me into Henson Heaven, these characters were brutally rejected by the suits in the front office. The reasons cited for smashing my dreams vary:

  • Unsafe tire: This one is a hilarious, lovable, under-inflated tire. What’s not to like? Increased chances for a rollover crash, the lawyers said. Touch√©.
  • The Smackdaddy in a beaker: “Smackdaddy” was my friend Steve’s nickname during high school. For some reason, he is depicted here stuck in a beaker. Though most would agree that a jar of Steve would make an excellent Muppet, the execs couldn’t see it at the time, unfortunately.
  • Partially ripped off mustache and entire nose: I think we all were born with noses and mustaches because we were supposed to enjoy them, not hide them. But not the suits! They claimed the implications behind this character were “too grim.” Whatever, suits.
  • Smoldering cigarette: Some very vicious (and very true) rumors about the dangers of tobacco destroyed this lovable death cylinder’s chances. Can’t blame the execs here.
  • Bag of sharp things: Children shouldn’t play with sharp things, they said. Sharp things are bad, they said. Oh, really? Well, what about paper? What about aged cheddar cheese? What about sharp-dressed men? All of these things are, in fact, sharp, and children safely interact with them every day. But there’s no reasoning with the suits. They, you guessed it, rejected this character, too.

And so my Muppet-creation aspirations were stalled by a bunch of know-nothing know-it-alls. Silly, isn’t it? I mean, really.

Who could turn down a jar of Steve?

Mar 12 2014

The dance party

(Click image for full version.)

(Click image for full version.)

Celebration is afoot in this 2007 introduction to communication doodle.

The jester, Felix, likes disco. The robot, Phil, prefers smooth jazz. Their friends, books named Heidi and Daisy, are just happy to be out of the library.

Eventually, the music will stop. Felix, Phil, Heidi, and Daisy will have to go on with their lives.

But for now, they dance.